230.4

I am so happy with the way things have been going for me food-wise this month. I know that I have been complaining about the scale jumping around a lot. While it is always depressing to see it do that I have been trying to remind myself that I know my food has been spot-on and I am feeling GREAT. I am trying to remind myself that the scale jumping is just water weight fluctuating and just keep plodding forward despite those jumps.

There is a week left in the month, and I am down over 9 pounds for May. It's amazing! I haven't felt this motivated or on track for years. I know what the factors are that are helping me this time, namely: changing the 'rules' I follow; fully submitting to this process; changing the type of food I eat; and checking in to you to keep me on track. Mentally and physically (current cramps notwithstanding...) I am just feeling on target

I am really looking forward to hitting the hiking trails again on a regular basis too. I told myself that as soon as I am in onderland, I am going to start up exercise again. There is a lot of recent research that has found that exercising while being on a limited calorie diet actually is quiet bad for your metabolism and will slow actual weight loss down slightly. And the old addage "you can't out-exercise bad eating" is 100% true. Experts are saying when you have a lot to lose (I do!!) it is better to get it off quicker and then add exercise as you approach goal. On top of that, I am fearful that if I am on the trails with bad feet at 200+ lbs, I am going to be in more danger of having my planar fasciitis flare up and ruin my plans. but the truth is I am getting super antsy to get out there again! I miss exercising when it felt good to do so, I just know it will work against me right now.

In not quite as happy news, my melancholy over the death of Chris Cornell continues. I don't understand why this is happening to me. I feel like the depressed teenager I was when I was first listening to them back in the 90s has come raging back in full force. I suppose it doesn't help that I keep listening to his music pretty much non-stop and am watching old documentaries and reading interviews that feature him or that era. I suppose that this too shall pass. Until then, I will continue to weep at odd moments interspersed with belting out (very badly and off key) my favorite Soundgarden songs.