Monday, September 19, 2011

The Final Push?

They aren't kidding about the last few pounds being the hardest.  This journey has not been truly difficult until the last few months, and even then, I know it is because I am not a patient person.  I accepted the slow down and pushed myself harder.  I've tried different calories, and have been keeping up with exercise. 

Last time I wrote, I was cutting down my calories to around 1200 - the lowest you are supposed to go.  I found I was getting very tired, and I was cold a LOT more. But, I did lose like 6 pounds that month.  Regardless of the success, I just don't have it in me to have that low of energy in my body.  So then I upped it to 14-1600, but the reality is I was doing more like 1800 because I get great satisfaction from having a dessert at night (a hot cup [or 3] of almond milk with Torani's sugar free flavored syrup, or a bowl of my NiceCream - frozen fruit blended with Stevia and almond milk, then topped with a tablespoon or 2 of coconut butter).  The result of that is that I have been stuck at the same weight for about a month now.  It seems that 1600-1800 is going to be my maintenance calorie number.  

Now, I know I am gaining muscle.  My arms and shoulders have definition and my thighs are pretty solid (under the remaining loose skin and fat) so there is a good chance that I am replacing some fat with muscle, but I am just not satisfied.  The intellectual in me KNOWS this is stupid. Numbers on the scale are just numbers and don't really mean much in the grand scheme of things when you are talking overall fitness.  But, I really want the satisfaction of seeing that I am in the "normal" BMI category which means I need to lose 10 pounds somehow.

I can see the excess fat anyway - so I won't be truly satisfied until the fat is gone.  If it is all replaced with muscle I would be quite happy - I would love to end up ripped :)  But, that is an aspect of my journey I am just starting to ponder and won't peruse it further until the fat is off.

I need to do a final push that I can really focus on so I am switching up my meals to have a less caloric breakfast (I got it down to 276 which includes my almond-mik in my coffee and my flax seed supplements, from 401). In this way, I think I can stick to 1400 for reals, and still have a dessert drink at night (probably not my NiceCream, but that's OK). I have to admit that I am hungry now because of this change, but it is almost lunch time.

Another thing I want to do is start running more, but the only way to do that on my schedule is to get a treadmill so I can run in the am - so this is a semi long-term goal as I need to save $$ before that can happen.  Those freaking things are EXPENSIVE but I think it will be worth it in the long run. Pun intended.

So here a very cool thing: I put on a size 4 skirt this weekend and I was able to zip it all the way up (it was tight, adn there was overhang, but that sipper was all the way up!).  CRAZY TALK.  I am in a 6 jeans now.  I hope I can get this excess flab under the loose skin off so I can actually get into a 4. 8 was my dream size, 6 was my wishful thinking size.  I never thought about 4 until now...