Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Not-as-Fat Jeans

I love my husband.  He is so funny.  I have shrunk out of my size 22/24 jeans at this point, and really need to go get some 18/20s (that will be a second size down!).  I have said it out loud to him probably 5 times now over the last 2 weeks.  He keeps encouraging  me to go and even reminding me to go take care of it when I don't mention it, but for some reason, I keep putting it off.  Today, I said it AGAIN, and his response was., "hurry up and go get your not-as-fat jeans".

I lost it.

I was laughing like a loon. The people around us probably thought I was touched.  He explained that if he called them my 'skinny jeans', I would take issue with it (I keep taking issue with him telling me I am looking skinny.  I still weigh 280ish pounds dear, there is nothing skinny about me...) but I am loving the "not-as-fat" nomenclature.

In another news, TOM arrived, and a mere 9 days late at that. SO annoying.  I am a little grumpy what with the cramps, but that does explain the scale being 2 pounds up (I knew that damn 277 was a lie...).  I guess the positive side of that is I don't need a new scale.

I am about to edit my "goals" page to and add a new "by date" goal chart that I will update when things change.  I am going to keep the original one in tact, but since I am about 20 pounds ahead of that chart, it would nice to keep an updated one to refer to.

Oh and also I think I have made the brave decision to make a new "one time" goal (menaing, I will get to it once, then gain back up to my current goal).  I think I want to get down to 132 so I can say I lost 200 pounds. How cool would that be?  I think 140 is probably a healthier weight, but 132 is still in the "normal" range.  I think I may be too naturally muscular to really make that happen.  Maybe I should make it a bonus goal and worry about it later.  That sounds much more sane...

I made a nice post today about my journey to being sugar-free on 3fc today.  Instead of pasting the whole post here, I'll just link to the post itself.

That was a lot of disconnected thoughts shoved into one post.  Sorry reader!

Monday, March 22, 2010


This morning's weight: 277.8

ENERGY! I have so much of it! I love it.  On weekends, I have historically been very very lazy, taking multiple naps, sleeping in late, what have you.  This weekend I accomplished and did so much, it's ridiculous!

I already listed my Saturday morning.  Saturday afternoon we took the dogs for a second walk then went to Target to get a couple if items (and to get out of the house so the cleaners could do their thang).  When we got home, I attempted to make vegetable chips (failed, by the way.  I need to watch the oven better), made my week's tabuleh, made some salmon and asparagus for dinner, and cleaned the kitchen up. 

Sunday, I did round 2 of dishes (I made an almighty mess the night before),  3 or so loads of laundry, cleaned up the front AND back patio (sweeping, small amount of weeding and pruning back of the outrageous lilies, poop patrol, picking up dead leaves, throwing out unused stuff, planning, the usual), took pictures of some unwanted items and got them posted up on freecycle, and then dealt with the downpour of emails that came in, we finally hung the 5 Firefly posters in the computer room, I made my weekly veggie broth, a spicy slaw, reheated dinner, made the husband some quesadillas, and I made banana "ice cream" for desert.

Full days! I loved it.  I loved it because I had the desire to get stuff done, the energy to do it all, and I didn't quit working on anything due to being tired as I didn't get tired.  I broke a bit of a sweat doing all the sweeping and pruning so I got exercise to boot.

I had a nice bonus ego boost this morning - my co-worker's husband saw me this morning for the first time since December, before I started this journey. He called her earlier and was telling her how much weight it looks like I lost. 

I love hearing it from others because I don't see it on myself.  I feel like my clothes are getting bigger, not me shrinking as I look exactly the same (in my head anyway) as I did 55 pounds ago.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I Need a New Scale

This morning's weight: 277.8

Yesterday I thought the scale was broken.  Today I know it is.  I cannot have lost 7 pounds in one week.   I eat too much for that, plain and simple.  I stepped on my old - also broken with an obvious crack down the whole thing- non digital scale which had me at 275, so that was no help at all.

I know tomorrow or the next day the weight is going to shoot back up into the reasonable low 280s and I hope that doesn't bum me out (this has now become a letter to my future self) but reading a loss of this magnitude just doesn't make sense and I don't think it is very healthy.

I'm off to make oatmeal~ nomonomnom

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Busy Morning

This morning's weight: 280.4

OK my scale is a nut.  There is no way in this universe or the next that 2 frakking pounds got "lost" in the last 24 hours.  I got on this scale this morning and it read 280.4.  I stepped off. I stepped back on.  280.4.  Off and on.  Four times.  I am not changing my ticker to reflect it.  I don't believe it.  Tomorrow morning for my official weigh in time I will update the ticker to whatever it says, but right now, I am just too skeptical.

I have had a full day already and it is only 10:30am.  I woke up at 7 and had to pee like a racehorse, (as it were.  This is what happens when you drink loads and loads of water) but when I lay back down I couldn't get back to sleep.  I got up, got dressed, took the dogs and myself for a brisk 20 minute walk.  Came back and cleaned the whole kitchen, picked up the living room, did a load of laundry.  Then I went to the farmers market, and the grocery to pick up more "out of season" produce (I need my weekend banana's darn it!).  Put every thing away - and realized I have enough produce to open my own stand.  Plans are in the works for Tabuleh, and a slaw, and raosted veggies for sandwiches, and a variety of veggie chips! - and then I made my awesome morning oatmeal. 

Today I am having:  banana, kiwi, and strawberry topped with coconut butter along with a steaming mug of Coconut Chai black tea, which I also just picked up.  SO GOOD. I am in heaven right now.  Observe:

I am trying to quit ingesting artificial sweeteners,  I don't think I can go cold turkey, but I am making steps towards it.  I used Stevia in my oatmeal and tea.  I just don't know about giving up my diet sodas yet.  They are like desert to me now.  On the other hand, my palette is so clean at this point, that an apple last night was on the verge of being too sweet for me.  How weird is that?  4 months ago I could eat half a Tres Leches cake (and then lick up extra caramel...) no problem.  Now an apple is too sweet?  I am loving the change, it is just really hard to wrap my head around.

Today I am going to buy a Brita water filter thingy that fits over the kitchen faucet.  This way, there is always filtered water downstairs, and I can bring the pitcher we already have upstairs so I can just fill it in the bathroom and not have to run downstairs 10 times a day to refill my bottle.  I think this will help 1) with The Great Water Experiment and 2) with getting me off the soda.  If I have readily available water, I'll drink it and not wish I had something else.

I hope.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Cha Cha Cha Changes

This morning's weight: 282.8

12.8 ounces from losing 50 lbs in 11 weeks ... WHAT?!  Just makes me wish I had started this sooner.

It is ( I feel the signs and the date is right but no show yet) TOM week.  This is the only times I ever get cravings for my "old" foods.  I really really want a huge deli sandwich from Columbo's.  Alas, my Colombo days are over.  I might try to make myself a mini-uber veggie sandwich this weekend though.  I think I can pull it off and get the satisfaction without the bad food and calories.

The Great Water Experiment has turned out pretty darn good. I'm peeing loads.  I have seen weight loss every day instead of the scale going up and down.  I think my skin isn't as dry (tough call on that one since my seasonal itchies have started).

My mood is terrific. I am feelign great. I dunno, everything seems to be going my way.  I am just realizing that 6 months ago the paranoid part of me would think, "oh man, something bad is bound to happen any time now".  I think the Vitamin D regiment is working wonders on my brain chemistry. Or maybe it is the nutrition?  I don't know, but the negative, depressed, paranoid aspects of my brain haven't been in effect for some time now.  I don't know what to attribute it to, but I like it!  I hope it doesn't ever go away.  I like being happy all the time.  This is the way I used to be when I was in my late teens.  I remember Marsha saying to me "I wish I could bottle you up like sunshine! Bottled Brandee..."  Was one of the nicest compliments I have ever gotten.

As far as Non-Scale Victories -  so many to report!  Sadly, I think I get all my daily crowing out on 3fc, and this blog is suffering for it.  The record of my progress is really taking place over there instead of here on this blog.  I think I will try to make a more concentrated effort to write here.  I really want to have my whole journey down so I can look back on it, and give it to my family to read to see what I went through.

Here are some of the NSV's I've noticed lately:
  • I can feel my wrist bones without having to squeeze.
  • I was able to bend forward to clip my toenails without having to hold my breath due to the pressure of my stomach squeezing my diaphragm
  • My towels fit all the way around me now (they are extra large bath towels, but whatever!)
  • My pretty shiny flower shirt fits LOOSELY instead of too tight to wear oooh snap
  • I am currently wearing silk thermals that were too tight not long ago
  • My 22/24 jeans that I had to buy last month are starting to be too loose already
  • I notice a difference in my face when comparing the face shots I have been taking (that will be a gif someday)
  • My hair is looking smashing - shiny, silky, and more lively color to it
  • I have loads more energy.
  • This morning I was able to get my foot (briefly) on my knee to get my show on instead of having to use the edge of the couch.
  • I don't almost fall over when getting undies on.

Crazy good things happening to me.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Change up

This morning's weight: 284.6

Even though I lost 3 lbs last week, I felt like I was stalling.  Probably not a healthy attitude, but it is what it is.  In fact, all week long, there was 0 change.  I only saw the change when I did my 11am pre-breakfast weigh-in on Sunday, my "official" time.

In any case, I decided that I am going to do one 1800 calorie day and one 1200 calorie day (probably Saturday and Sunday) just to keep my metabolism guessing.  Which means I get mega awesome oatmeal with double the almond/casher/coconut butter on that day.  Yes, I love it that much.  If I didn't have will of steel these days, I would have blown my diet on nut butters by now.

Speaking of will of steel, on Sunday morning, I made my hubby homemade buttermilk biscuits, and fresh sausage gravy in order to make him one of his old favorites from the dive/truck stop he worked at as a kid:  2 open faced biscuits, with 4 sausage patties, topped with scrambled eggs, and doused in sausage gravy.  I never tasted the biscuits but he tells me they turned out great.  In order to get the seasoning right on the gravy, I tasted 3 times; the first two I spit out in the sink as it wasn't right.  The third taste seemed like I had it right, but you really have to swallow to get the full tongue feel when tasting, so I swallowed that one and it was fantastic.

But that is all I had of the magnificent, terrible bad for you, feast I made.  One swallow that was probably less than 1/8 of a teaspoon.  And then I made myself some gooooood oatmeal with fresh blackberries, and banana, and almond butter.  To die for!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Happy Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy

This morning's weight: 287 or something

The whole fluctuating scale business is soooo annoying.  I want to just not look at the scale at all.  My clothes are getting really loose on me so I know stuff is happening (and another person in my office actually noticed the weight loss yesterday, which is awesome), but I love my ridiculously long goal list and sadly those are mostly scale based goals.

Onto more positive things.  I swear to Cthulu, I have never had this much general well being consecutively in my entire life.  I don't know what to attribute it to.  It must just be a mix of everything: my body physically feels better, I am eating nutrient dense food, I have removed foods that act badly on my system, my energy is through the roof so I am getting things done, and I am sleeping like a champ, and my husband is so kind and downright gorgeous and even after 4 years, I feel like a teenager around him (but that has never changed since the day I met him, just thought I would throw it in there).

Sunday, March 7, 2010

My Scale is a Stupid Jerk

This morning's weight: 288.2?  286.1?? 284?!?!

OK seriously, this is ridiculous and frustrating. 

I weigh myself once a day, right when I wake up and in the buff (by the way, it's totally awesome being downstairs where the scale is, at 5:25am, in the dark, and then letting all my stuff flop about in the freezing cold.  I recommend!). 

Not long after I decided that this was the good time for me to weigh in, I started making my weekly "official weigh in" to be on Sunday mornings before breakfast.  This is the weight I record at 3FC and on my weight tracking page.  I began to see a pattern very quickly that my weekend weight was significantly different from my Friday - usually a loss of 2 pounds.  The more I paid attention, it became really clear that my body digests (or something metabolic anyway) as the day progresses and I haven't eaten. I weigh 2-4 pounds less a couple hours into the morning than straight out of bed. So, as long as I continued to weigh in at about the same time on the weekends, I should see an accurate weekly loss.

Every day this week I have been losing a few ounces a day according to the 5:30 weigh in, eeking down to a 2 pound loss this week.  Friday I was at 288.6.  Saturday I woke up late (as I do on weekends) and I saw the expected lower-than-average loss I expected, and was at 286.2.  I didn't write it down or record it, as I thought that was a little low and thought to myself, "self, you should just wait until tomorrow for the big celebration of a 4 pound loss".

So this morning my lovely doggies got me up ever so pleasantly, one with a paw to the kidney (which was full mind you) and the other with a wet tongue right in the corner of the eye (hey, at least I didn't have to bother wiping out eye-boogers) at 9am, earlier than my usual Sundays where I get to be in bed until 10 and sometimes 11 even.  I remember it is weigh in morning, and pop downstairs to look at the scale! And! 288.2.  W. T. F.

So I trudge back up and record it everywhere.  Happy for a 2 pound loss, sad it wasn't going to be 4 like I was teased yesterday.  Anyway, I do some posting, and some photoshopping, and getting Etsy auctions up when I finally realize it is 11 and I haven't eaten. On the way to the kitchen, I hit the scale just to be sure I really got the right number.

The damn thing reads 284.

I give up.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Just Another Fish in the Sea

This morning's weight: 290

As it turns out, I am 1) not alone in the blogosphere and 2) I am awash in a sea of like-minded people.  I made this blog for myself as motivation and to keep track of my journey while being publicly accountable to  my huge, invisible, non-existent audience.  Today, I found about a bazillion other bloggers that are doing the same thing in just about the same way.   And so I subscribed to a good handful - 'cos FSM knows I need more distractions and things to read while I am supposed to be working...

I have had a bit of a worry today. While perusing 3fc and reading some of the latest posts, I came across naysayers regarding low caloric intake, losing too fast, losing muscle mass, and crash-and-burn dieting.  I also did some follow-up reading online and everyone is par for the course with their information.  This is disturbing to me as I am sticking to about 1400 a day, and losing 3-4 lbs a week.  The thing is, I am not getting hungry, or feeling weak or anything.  I am also more than 2 months in to my personal program so the whole idea of a crash-and-burn at this point I feel is probably not going to happen.  Add that to how many stories and blogs I have read of women being successful doing pretty much exactly what I am doing.   I am being tugged in two directions because of this: worry that I am hurting myself in the long run vs. everything is going swimmingly, as expected.

Interesting body change of the day:  (another TMI moment) my butt bones are actually starting to be uncomfortable when I am on the loo.  I am still waaaaaay heavy, but I am losing fat (especially in my back, waist, and ass apparently) and this has led to more prominent bonage on my backside.  It is going to get worse, isn't it?  Blah.