My Scale is a Stupid Jerk

This morning's weight: 288.2?  286.1?? 284?!?!

OK seriously, this is ridiculous and frustrating. 

I weigh myself once a day, right when I wake up and in the buff (by the way, it's totally awesome being downstairs where the scale is, at 5:25am, in the dark, and then letting all my stuff flop about in the freezing cold.  I recommend!). 

Not long after I decided that this was the good time for me to weigh in, I started making my weekly "official weigh in" to be on Sunday mornings before breakfast.  This is the weight I record at 3FC and on my weight tracking page.  I began to see a pattern very quickly that my weekend weight was significantly different from my Friday - usually a loss of 2 pounds.  The more I paid attention, it became really clear that my body digests (or something metabolic anyway) as the day progresses and I haven't eaten. I weigh 2-4 pounds less a couple hours into the morning than straight out of bed. So, as long as I continued to weigh in at about the same time on the weekends, I should see an accurate weekly loss.

Every day this week I have been losing a few ounces a day according to the 5:30 weigh in, eeking down to a 2 pound loss this week.  Friday I was at 288.6.  Saturday I woke up late (as I do on weekends) and I saw the expected lower-than-average loss I expected, and was at 286.2.  I didn't write it down or record it, as I thought that was a little low and thought to myself, "self, you should just wait until tomorrow for the big celebration of a 4 pound loss".

So this morning my lovely doggies got me up ever so pleasantly, one with a paw to the kidney (which was full mind you) and the other with a wet tongue right in the corner of the eye (hey, at least I didn't have to bother wiping out eye-boogers) at 9am, earlier than my usual Sundays where I get to be in bed until 10 and sometimes 11 even.  I remember it is weigh in morning, and pop downstairs to look at the scale! And! 288.2.  W. T. F.

So I trudge back up and record it everywhere.  Happy for a 2 pound loss, sad it wasn't going to be 4 like I was teased yesterday.  Anyway, I do some posting, and some photoshopping, and getting Etsy auctions up when I finally realize it is 11 and I haven't eaten. On the way to the kitchen, I hit the scale just to be sure I really got the right number.

The damn thing reads 284.

I give up.