218.1

It is amazing how one bad choice (or epic fuck-up depending on my state of mind) can screw up progress and forward momentum spanning two full weeks.  Today is the first day that my weight has been down since the end of June.  My oil-bomb potato breakfast really messed up my tummy for days, and then messed up my state of mind for more days.  I didn't count calories perfectly on 4 different days over these last 2 weeks as a result of that breakfast 2 Mondays ago, and so I know I had more than my 1200 allotment.   This has left me feeling very negatively about myself, my progress, and my desire to even keep up with trying to get healthy.  I have been contemplating just getting a nice high quality loaf of bread and having myself a mouth party even though I know that thus would begin a downward spiral that I may not be able to crawl out of.

This is addiction.  And I hate it.

It is really unfair that people can enjoy food in a safe and healthy way, and I am punished by bad brain chemistry, or genetics, or just a poor upbringing around food so much so that I can't just enjoy the thing that I enjoy the most.

I'm not sure that this current temper tantrum is quite over yet, but I am done writing about it for today.  I am just mad.

218.8

I am not too pleased with how the weekend went. I had guests over on Saturday night where I made a decision not to count calories and def overate because of it (but it was all whole food, plant based so at least I have that going for me). Then I had a last-minute surprise visit from my brother and his family and ended up out to breakfast with them where the only thing on the menu I could eat was hash brown potatoes and a side of fruit. I haven't had a single drop of oil since February and then basically had a plate of grease for breakfast. I still feel disgusting. I have been so tired, queasy, grumpy, and - tmi - pretty bad digestion issues for 3 days in a row. Even Smooth Move tea didn't help move things along. So 'bloated' is an understatement and constant tummy discomfort has become my reality.

LESSON LEARNED.

And its my weekly weigh in. I am up 0.2 lbs. I am not surprised and very disappointed with myself =(

06/28: 218.6
06/29: 218.5 (-0.1)
06/30: 218.4 (-0.1)
7/01: 218.4 (0.0)
7/02: 218.7 (+0.3)
7/03: no data
7/04: 219 (+0.3)
7/05: 218.8 (-0.2) [week: +0.2]

218.4

Missed my 10 lb goal for the month by 0.4 lbs. bleeee

RECAP:
Feb 1: 253.6 (re-start)
Mar 1: 252 (-1.6)
April 1: 245 (-7)
May 1: 239.7 (-5.3)

JUNE
06/01: 228 (-11.7)
06/02: 227 (-1.0)
06/03: 226.9 (-0.1)
06/04: 227.1 (+0.2)
06/05: 229.1 (+2.0)
06/06: 226.6 (-2.5)
06/07: 226.0 (-0.6) [week: -1.9]
06/08: 225.7 (-0.3)
06/09: 224.2 (-1.5)
06/10: 225.7 (+1.5)
06/11: 225.9 (+0.2)
06/12: 226.5 (+0.6)
06/13: 226.1 (-0.4)
06/14: 223.8 (-2.3) [week -2.2]
06/15: 222.5 (-1.3)
06/16: 223.5 (+1.0)
06/17: 222.9 (-0.6)
06/18: no data
06/19: 227.4 (+4.5)
06/20: 222.1 (-5.3)
06/21: 222.2 (+0.1) [week: -1.6]
06/22: 219.5 (-2.7)
06/23: 219.8 (+0.3)
06/24: no data
06/25: 220.5 (+0.7)
06/26: 221.0 (+0.5)
06/27: 219.9 (-1.1)
06/28: 218.6 (-1.3) [week: -3.6]
06/29: 218.5 (-0.1)
06/30: 218.4 (-0.1)

218.5

I have a long weekend with plans coming up so making and sticking to these meal plans is going to be a tough one.  But, making meal plans is all part of the process so I gotta do what I gotta do.

Friday 6/30-Tuesday 7/4
Breakfasts = Amys beans, avo, tomatoes, fruit
Lunch most days: Chile Verde with hominy and white beans, fruit
Dinner most days: sweet potato, steamed broccoli and cauli

Friday 6/30 movie date - bring blueberries and chili. There is a special Indian menu right now and there are vegan options.  I really want one of these, but I know it comes with breads and I'm afraid if I order, I am going to eat it, so I should really try to be strong :(

Saturday 7/1 - dinner w/ friends.  Mediterranean salad and crudites w/ humus. The fear of overeating because I will not be weighing and measuring is strong

218.6

Today is my Wednesday Weekly Weigh In and - WOW- I had a good week! The prior 2 weeks were pretty annoying due to an irregular cycle, but it got made up for now. I lost -drum roll please- ... 3.6 pounds this week!! Huzzah! I am hoping to hit my -10lbs/month goal for June, but only have 48 hours in which to meet it by losing another half pound, but hey, miracles sometimes happen. I find it so amazing that I am losing pounds at the same rate as the last time aroudn in 2010, but without any exercise at all this time. Weight loss really is all about what you put in your mouth (but, of course, I know fitness is mostly about exercise. I never claimed I was getting fit - HA!)

I am STILL having a really horrid time trying to get into the other self-care habits (journaling, meditation, etc) that SPT says I should be doing to help make this a lasting endeavor. I am trying though! I moved my journals and my book of meditations out of the bedroom (where I almost immediately fall asleep every night) out to my desk in the living room. I am going to try to get into the habit of doing that stuff last thing before going into the bedroom. Maybe it will help.

weekly recap:

06/21: 222.2 (+0.1)
06/22: 219.5 (-2.7)
06/23: 219.8 (+0.3)
06/24: no data
06/25: 220.5 (+0.7)
06/26: 221.0 (+0.5)
06/27: 219.9 (-1.1)
06/28: 218.6 (-1.3) [week: -3.6]

221.0

I had a good weekend food wise. I made that huge batch of Gazpacho which I highly recommend! It is so tasty and light and perfect for hot weather. This is the recipe I used: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/a...recipe-1937573 It makes a HUGE portions for not many calories.  I had it along side of a bit of rice.

My new mantra "weight loss is not linear" (thanks 3FC user!!!!) is helping me stay sane watching the scale bounce around. Luckily it is always a downward trend even when there are daily bumps. I want to stop weighing daily, but I actually feel guilty if I don't, so mantra it is.


The workweek meal plan:

Breakfast: Almond Milk Latte, beans, avocado, tomato, strawberries
Lunch: big salad w/ beans, cucumbers, tomato - added Miso Soy Curls and Asian style dressing
Dinner: roasted red potato and steamed kale w/ hot mustard

219.5

This weekend's meal plan:

Breakfast: Overnight oats w/ chia, banana and berries
Lunch: Gazpacho topped with avocado and brown rice
Dinner: Sweet Potato stuffed w/ corn, black beans, and salsa and simple slaw

edit: got too hungry and didn't feel satisfied with the oats for breakfast, so I switched back to my beans and avo situation on Sat and Sun.