236

I have been wonderfully on track since I last checked in. In some cases, that took extraordinary measures, though. That said, my stupid weight bumped up over the last 4 days and hasn't come back down. I'm gonna go ahead and blame it on lack of enough water consumption again, same as last weekend.

There is an AWESOME movie theater in the city that serves a full dinner menu and full bar menu right to your movie seats while you are watching your show (we saw Guardians 2: so good!). I have come to associate going to the movies now with getting really nice yummy treats and have pretty much gone through their whole menu at this point. So, when I knew we were going to the movies I didn't want to be tempted so I pre-packed my lunch on Thursday night and smuggled it into the theater with me on Friday so that I could nosh on plan. It worked! I didn't feel the least bit like I was missing out, and I didn't have the guilt of snacking after the fact. Win-win!

And then yesterday I had a 9 hour meeting (omg, kill me...) where they served both breakfast and lunch, but again, I packed ahead and brought it all with me. I had to explain to a table full of people what Nutritatian eating was. I got a lot of sympathetic looks and a lot of "I could never do that...".

236.6

Man I am having such a depressing day. One of my brother's dogs died in her sleep last night for no particular reason. She wasn't ill, or old, or displaying any sort of behavior that indicated she was uncomfortable. There was no vomiting or any kind of indication of anything. They went to bed, and woke up in the morning to find her curled up outside, head on paws, over the rainbow bridge. She didn't normally sleep outside; I believe she knew she was going to go and so let herself out in the night to not die inside as a final gift to his family. Bah now I'm crying again.

Anyway, it is hitting me hard (all doggie deaths do whether I know them or not) and usually this sort of emotion drives me to the refrigerator but so far I am staying strong and not really feeling that pull. My determination to stay on plan is going to trump my emotions for once.

236.9 - BLE

Last weekend (April 22-23) while looking for recipes for my meal prepping, I stumbled on a recipe that I was keen on, and then stayed on the bloggers site to read what her diet plan looked like.  I had 'decided' to really go back and try to re-lose this weight back in February, and I was coming up on my typical 2-months-time-to-give-up expiration date that happens every damn time I have tried dieting since 2012.  In fact, I was already slipping back into bad eating habits.

This blog is where I was first introduced to Bright Line Eating.

The more I dug into it and tried to figure out what it was about, the more excited I got.  This mindset was precisely what I had done back in 2010 when I lost 180 pounds.  Only, back in 2010, I was on my own, had no idea why it was working, and was just winging it based on my best guess (and did stupid stuff like cutting out fat entirely which made me lose my hair...)

The entirety of that weekend I spent watching every video I could find, read every review, and posted on 3FC looking for BLE partners.  This is where I figured out that this was a new thing.  I bought the book and was anxiously awaiting Amazon to deliver before I realized it literally had been released in that same week - it was just a coincidence that I had stumbled on it.

The author/scientist behind BLE offers a (much too pricey for me) 8-week boot-camp to launch people into this way of thinking about food and the right way to eat to conquer food addiction. So I decided to wait on the book, and continue watching videos to try to do this.

That week (last week) I was on my plan perfectly as I am each week.  It is always the weekends the fuck me up.  But with the help of the videos (still was waiting for the book at that time) I had my first perfect eating weekend following the BLE guidelines as I knew them. I was so proud of myself!

Monday of this week my book was delivered.  I have been spending my lunch hour laying out on the grass in the quad reading.  I cannot emphasize enough how valuable this book is to me.  Here was information - backed up with study after scientific study - about why what I did before worked, and why it was going to work for me again.  Only this time, I feel like it is going to be permanent.  And more importantly, it made me truly recognize that I am a food addict and is providing me the tools to kick the addiction.

I am an academic at heart.  I went to graduate school and work now at UCSF for a doctoral program.  I have always loved learning and place a high value on science, study, and intelligence.  This book has so much of the science behind food issues and conquering them that I feel like I found something that is speaking directly to me.

Today is the mid point of week 2.  I can't wait to see where I am come week 3, 4, 5, and onwards.

I highly encourage anyone with food issues to give it a look and let me know what you think - I'm still looking for my BLE community!

237.2

Yeah, that woosh definitely wasn't real LOL.

From my 3FC posting this morning (how lazy am I that I can't make a fresh blog entry and instead just copy/paste what I already wrote somewhere else hahahahah)

I think my whoosh from last week is being revisited (despite that it all came back since then). I lost 2.5 lbs overnight LOL. The scale is so ridiculous. I hate depending on it for my little (but much needed!!!!) ego boosts in the mornings where I am actually down. Yesterday I drank 144 oz of water before leaving my office - I think that might have had something to do with it.

Side note on a cool scale thing and accountability: I bought a Withings scale back in March. It sends your weight for the day (and other data) to your phone via bluetooth so that you can look at reports and graphs over time. It is really satisfying! If you have weigh-loss buddies, you can also set it up to send the data to them and they can cheer you on.  Then I linked my Withings data to my MyFitnessPal account, so now my weight is sent right to MFP, and my calories are sent to my phone so I can compare the two data sets. And then I made a MyFitnessPal weight tracker (See my signature) that I never have to update. As soon as I step on the scale in the morning, my tracker automagically updates here! We live in the future!

236.6

Nice woosh this morning, but I do wonder if it is the real deal.  Guess I will know tomorrow morning!

I went through and updated some pages that are linked in the tabs at the top, namely the Plan, Goals, and Measurements pages.  It was all stuff I was going to write in my post today, but I've been working on it for over an hour so I'm not going to reiterate here.  My future self (and only reader of this blog) will just have to go back and look at those pages for where my head was today by looking there!

I have a Withings scale which I got back in April, and now I linked the scale's app to my Fitday page, which is linked to my tracker here on the top of this page.  It is so crazy that I weigh myself in the morning, and anyone who looks at this page or my posts on 3fc immediately know how much I weigh. Talk about serious, immediate accountability!!

241.9 - ReBooting is Hard to Do

I made the sad decision to update my signature on 3FC to more accurately reflect my journey.  It used to be so full of progress and things to be impressed with =(  I just wanted to preserve it here so that I could take honest looks back one day:

Start Date: January 4, 2010, 332 lbs.
100 pounds down: August 10, 2010
Onderland!: December 12, 2010
One Year later: 137 lbs lost
Half of me (166 lbs. lost & weight): June 5, 2011
ReStart February 2017 253.6 
Normal BMI (140 lbs):
High maintenance weight 132:
Low maintenance weight (GOAL) 127:

So now it only has what currently matters:
Start Date: January 4, 2010 - 332 lbs.
Lowest Weight: December 19 2012 - 143.6 lbs.
ReStart! February 2017 - 253.6 lbs.
Goals: 'Normal' BMI, 140 lbs // Maintenance weight, 132 lbs


le-motherfuckin'-sigh

242.1

Working on something new; stay tuned for more info!

For now, suffice it to say that I gained up to 256, but have lost 14ish pounds since trying to make positive changes again.